Oompa Loompa, Doopity Dossum: Fred Is Now Gone, That's Totally Awesome

Man, do I love politics.

First off, I think my last post about whom I was endorsing was this blog taking itself too seriously. C'mon, who the hell do I think I am, the venerable Bob Schieffer? Now there's a man who could endorse a ham sandwich for president and make everyone say, "Wow, Boar's Head never looked so sensible until now."

Also, I'm faced with conceding here (for the very first time!) that the November victory speech will probably not contain the words, "If you thought running for president was hard, try living through 9/11! Oh, wait, right - I'm elected now, I can finally admit that the calendar has 364 other days."

Strangely, I'm not very upset over my man Rudy going down. He actually sort of deserves it, because I've been getting pissed off lately that he's commercialized that day to the point that Christmas looks sacred and private by comparison. Seriously, 'Dolph, I've been saying all along: All you had to do was hold up before and after charts at your stump speeches. New York City crime pre-Rudy, New York City crime post-Rudy. Choking deficit in the early 90s, golden surplus in time for the new millennium. You could have reminded them all of the well-known saying from before 9/11 - that being mayor of New York is the second hardest government job in the country. Call me next time you run for something man, although Rasmussen just informed me that the corpse of Richard Nixon leads you in the polls for dog catcher.

I'm now throwing my heft behind the Maverick, the War Hero, the Stud That Kissed All the Girls and Made Them Cry: Senator John Sidney McCain III. And I can't wait until the inevitable day that he takes an big old man dump on Glove Romney and sends him back to Michigan, or Massachusetts, or, uhh...wait, I think he just changed his position again on which state is best.

And don't tell me that 71 is too old to be elected president. Warren Buffet, 76, is still in complete command of the strongest company in our nation.

This just in: Last night's edition of WWE Monday Night Raw was eked out by CNN's Democratic Debate as the trashiest main event of the night. Seriously! The only trick that Hillary didn't pull was after one of Obama's retorts, raising her arm to emphasize a point and then wailing, "WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO PICK ON ME?!" As Mr. Imus said this morning, the Clintons would poison a municipal water system if it meant winning an election.

The odds in Vegas right now probably point towards a Clinton/McCain big dance in November. Call me crazy, but I have a dream scenario. Follow my math here. John McCain, while most of his support comes from the Republicans, is well-liked by many Democrats, right? Barack Obama, with his message of hope and unity, complimenting politicians on both sides of the aisle and looking like a refreshing break from the "politics of personal destruction" is building some cross-party appeal, right? Then what better way to get an Upper West Side writer and a Texas cattle rancher to join hands and sing Kumbaya than to put forth the perfect unity ticket. It would eliminate a lot of the divisions in our great nation, and, more importantly, put an everlasting boulder in the Clintons' craw.

Happy electioning, everybody.

P.S. McBama '08!

Awesomeness on a Stick Endorses Barack H. Obama for the Democratic Presidential Nomination, Rudolph W. Giuliani for the Republicans

I will address the latter gentleman first. While he was the mayor of my city, I loved the job he was doing during his first 92 months in office; I just about worshiped him in the final four. For examples of how New York City existed just prior to his mayoralty, see the examples he presents in the introduction to his book Leadership. A majority of New Yorkers, according to polls, would have moved out if they could. There were more than 2000+ murders per year, you could find few places that were completely safe after dark, and the city economy was stagnant at best. On the day prior to the worst day in our city's history, the overhaul of the city's crime, economy, and its agencies overall could not be any clearer. It was the mark of a municipal government that saw what had to be done and did it very well. In retrospect, you could very accurately state that we all took this for granted. In two months we would elect a new mayor, look at what the current mayor did as more favorable than not, yet have some reservations about calling him great because of his recent infidelities and iffy race relations.

The next day everything changed, and in our darkest moment, we held on to his every word for the truth, hope, and any possible shred of consolation we could find. However, this "we" grew from eight million to a quarter of a billion. America's Mayor showed tremendous strength, perseverance, and sensitivity - in a nutshell: leadership. Before and after 9/11, Rudolph W. Giuliani owned and displayed this adjective in great measure. Here's hoping that he can clean up some of the mess in the Federal government the way he restructured our city's.

Other acceptable candidates: John McCain, Ron Paul. Unacceptable for reasons I won't get into unless one of them wins the nomination: Mike Huckabee and Mitt Romney.

As for Senator Obama, I could not do his history the same justice I've done Giuliani's. What I do know is that he is highly intelligent, both in the intellectual sense and in that he seems to really "get it." He also disdains the roadblocks of the establishment. I heard him on the radio today saying that he would put Republicans in his cabinet. This is something that our current president has failed to do (cross party lines, of course - he has plenty of Republicans in his cabinet), and party relations are the worse for it. Did anyone see the series finale of The West Wing, when Jimmy Smits' Democratic character was being inaugurated? He chose his opponent, Alan Alda's Republican Senator Vinick, as his Secretary of State. Democrats might decry the "audacity" of a President Obama inserting members of the opposing party in his Cabinet, but I "hope" he would ignore them.

The other day, Bill Clinton told Charlie Rose that electing Mr. Obama might be "a roll of the dice." This is incorrect, and Clinton assumes that the type of experience his wife holds is eminently important. Her experience as senator of New York has produced blunders such as riding the tide of sentiment of Governor Spitzer and his opinions about issuing illegal aliens drivers' licenses. Her experience has led to others basically owning her stances. Senator Obama can successfully fill the role of president by selecting advisors and officials with experience in relevant fields, and he seems to possess the intelligence to place trust in the right people and in the right decisions. We would also recoup some of our global influence by electing a president who listens.

Unfortunately the only other candidate I like in the Democratic Party is Senator Joe Biden, and he has basically no chance. A Giuliani (or even McCain) versus Obama election would be an exciting race that would wipe the horrible taste of Bush/Kerry out of America's mouth.

OK, back to studying for my last final exam. Then I start graduate school two weeks from tonight. Excited beyond belief. Merry Christmas, everyone.