Awesomeness On A Stick readers, be prepared for a weekend full of New York vs. New York coverage. Upon recommendation from one of my readers, I decided to ramp up the bloggage during what is always one of my favorite weekends of the year.
It all started this morning. The SNY Subway Series Kickoff at 51st Street and 6th Avenue. While I did not win tickets for this weekend (which is OK, because I'm going Sunday night), I fulfilled a long-time dream of mine in meeting the Voice of the Mets. The finest first baseman and most debonair pitcher in team history, now both voices of awesomeness as well, were also in attendance. I chatted with the guys for a good minute, took a picture with them, and got all three to sign my baseball. When I have a desk one day, that ball is gonna sit on it forever.
An abbreviated play-by-play of the game follows:
Top 1:
7:12 - Oh, Endy. Oh, Endy, Endy, Endy. Throwin' the Damon out at second.
7:17 - Perez walks Posada. SETTLE DOWN OLLIE.
7:19 - Easley grabs one out of the air that could've been bad.
Bottom 1:
7:22 - Andy Pettitte, meet Jose Reyes. You do NOT want to let him get on base. Aaaand ya just did.
7:24 - Pettitte just tried to pick off Jose for at least the third time. And we have our first Yankees Suck chant of the night.
7:26 - After Easley walks, El Esta Aqui in the form of Carlos B.
7:28 - One to nothing Mets as Carlos D. sacrifices Legs home. Told ya, Andy.
Top 2:
7:35 - Not much to report as Ollie gets through on eight pitches. Two of them were fly balls to Endy.
Bottom 2:
7:41 - It was a pitcher's second inning.
Top 3:
7:44 - We have our first strikeout of the night as Ollie gets Andy looking.
7:48 - Another 1-2-3 inning despite an error by Carlos G. It was only a missed foul, so no need to get cranky.
Bottom 3:
7:50 - Don't you love it when a pitcher produces as many hits as he's given up?
7:51 - Voice just did a Jeter/Legs stats comparison. Keith said he'd take either. Ron said something about Jeet having more bling bling on his fingers. Best broadcast team ever.
7:53 - Booo 6-4-3 double play grounded into by Easley.
Top 4:
7:55 - Coming back from commercial, Voice did a Jets Nation promo. Keith has a Chad Pennington bobblehead on the desk. Ron asks the bobblehead if he likes the Patriots. Keith makes mini-Chad shake its head.
7:56 - Cut to the booth again. As Voice and Ron have a serious conversation about Subway Series hype, Keith's looking at the camera laughing.
8:00 - Still never a fan of a Matsui in Shea as Hideki launches a two-run bomb. Two to one Yanks.
Bottom 4:
8:10 - Beltran, Delgado, Wright. Strikeout, groundout, groundout.
Top 5:
8:16 - White men can jump if they are from Virginia and named David Wright. Side retired.
Bottom 5:
8:19 - LoDuca doubles down the third base line. Let's get some runs here.
8:20 - And it's outta here! Endy proves once again that he's the Prince of Shea. Mets back on top, 3-2.
8:24 - JOSE JOSE JOSE JOSE, JOSE, JOSE. Mets fans just have more fun.
Top 6:
8:28 - Perez has thrown just seventy-seven pitches and we're in the sixth already. And the game's not even an hour and a half old. Wow.
8:33 - Legs just blatantly tried to drop a fly ball to induce a double play. Hey, where's the ump's wallet?
Bottom 6:
8:42 - Los Mets va uno, dos, tres.
Top 7:
8:45 - Ollie's looking amazing. Some action in the bullpen, though.
8:47 - Some DP action involving Wright, Easley, and Delgado. Shecond Shtanzaaa.
Bottom 7:
8:52 - Harold "I'm ashamed of my real name so I call myself John Sterling" Moskowitz probably would have just proclaimed a DOOKIE DOUBLE if LoDuca played for the Yankees. But he doesn't. Very important.
Top 8:
8:55 - Seriously? We're only an hour and 45 minutes into the game and seven innings are in the books. At this rate, we'll be two games up and they'll be ten games out at 9:18.
8:58 - Bobby Abreu strikes out.
9:08 - After Ollie leaves with two outs in the eighth, Joe Smith comes in and strikes out the ALMIGHTY Captain Jeter. Feelin' good things, good things.
Bottom 8:
9:17 - Scott Proctor gets the Mets out in order. Enter Sandman.
Top 9:
9:19 - A-Rod grounds to Reyes, on to first. In time! Two more to go.
9:22 - STRUCK OUT POSADA. And then there was one.
9:24 - Matsui infield hit. What the hell?
9:25 - Fat Giambi is up.
9:28 - He struck him out swinging. PUT IT IN THE BOOKS!
The Angry Puppy predicted a 9-3 Yankee win. I wish he would predict sudden doom for the human race now as well.
Oliver Perez answered the question of "Which Oliver Perez will the Mets see tonight?" after the fifth and sixth innings, over which stretch he faced only seven batters after temporarily giving up the lead in the fourth. The Oliver Perez the Mets saw tonight was the one who kicks ass and takes names. After hurling a gem over seven and two-thirds, Joe Smith came in to strike out Derek Jeter. Billy Wagner then converted his tenth save out of ten opportunities, lowering his ERA to a nearly flawless 0.50. The New York Mets are now two games ahead of the Atlanta Braves in the National League Eastern Division. It's good to be king.
See you all tomorrow night. Sans the exhaustive play-by-play.
Friday, May 18, 2007
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Which of the following is an umbrella term for psychological disorders NOT considered part of an entity's internal control structure?
That basically sums up my 9:30-2 today.
I now have four finals under my belt. Two on Tuesday and two today. Any energy remaining in my system has been channelled into catching up on Runner's World and writing a little. I just need to get through the Mets game tomorrow night. A warm, late-spring night at Shea ain't nothing to complain about, but because of the energy I usually exert rooting for my favorite baldplayers, I should probably take a nap tomorrow.
Speaking of my favorite leisure time (um, what's that?) activity, I spend the vast majority of my drive time between February and October listening to WFAN-NY 660AM. Aside from the black hole left by nappygate, the station is entirely sports talk. If you've ever encountered a New York sports fan, you probably noticed that, while very knowledgeable of the subject, his speech was filled with mania coupled with the occasional droning. WFAN hosts do not disappoint. Their personalities and styles are what make the station among the most listened to by men 18-54 years of age. Credit to Toastedjoe for creating a game in response to the loveable talking heads that involves everyone's favorite activity - drinking:
"The rules are simple. During any WFAN broadcast, take a drink whenever any of the following events take place:
1. Every time Joe Beningo says "ohhh, the pain!"
2. Every time Steve Sommers uses a Yiddish word.
3. Every time Mike Francesa repeats himself over the course of a show (warning: may result in alcohol poisoning)
4. Every time a Yankee fan caller says the word "Jee-tuh."
5. Every time you laugh at the mental image of Mike and Dog "goin' at it as hard as they can!" (actual line from their theme song)
6. Every time Beningo says "...when of COUUUURSE..."
7. Every time you hear the words "first time, long time."
8. Every time Doggie says "If that happens....I'll live wit' it. I'll live wit' it."
9. Every time Francesa cuts off a stupid caller by saying "You're gone...goodbye. Goodbye."
10. Every time Doggie cackles.
11. Every time Beningo says "...and you just KNOW" something bad will happen to the Mets, Jets, Rangers, or Knicks.
12. Every time Richard Neer asks himself a question and gives a wishy-washy answer ("Will Pedro's injury hurt the Mets in the long run? I don't know.")
13. Every time Doggie says "waaaaaaaaw!!"
14. Every time Mike and Dog read a Steinbrenner "missive."
15. Every time Sweeney Murti calls in and kisses some Yankee ass.
16. Every time Mike and/or Dog bash Mets management.
17. Every time Doggie's basis for an argument is "that's all there is to it." (e.g., "Coughlin's gotta kick the field goal there, that's all there is to it.")
18. Every time Beningo mentions Scott Kazmir.
Happy drinkin'!"
Each morning I lend an ear to whomever is replacing the nationally syndicated Imus spot for the day. This morning's attempt to give a chance to the garden-variety talker yielded the following brief exchange between the radio and myself, followed by an immediate changing of the dial:
Radio announcer: You're listening to Geraldo Rivera on SportsRadio66 WFAN New York.
Me: Noo I'm not. Don Imus must be rolling in his grave.
The studios are in Astoria, Queens. I should get there at six each morning, do a four hour show, and head to school. I've got to be less maddening than Geraldo and I definitely would command a smaller salary. Get at me, (station manager) Chernoff.
End FAN talk.
I don't know what I want to do when I grew up. I had it figured out so much better when I looked like this. Kudos to Cousin Dylan for being awesome and now cancer-free.
I now have four finals under my belt. Two on Tuesday and two today. Any energy remaining in my system has been channelled into catching up on Runner's World and writing a little. I just need to get through the Mets game tomorrow night. A warm, late-spring night at Shea ain't nothing to complain about, but because of the energy I usually exert rooting for my favorite baldplayers, I should probably take a nap tomorrow.
Speaking of my favorite leisure time (um, what's that?) activity, I spend the vast majority of my drive time between February and October listening to WFAN-NY 660AM. Aside from the black hole left by nappygate, the station is entirely sports talk. If you've ever encountered a New York sports fan, you probably noticed that, while very knowledgeable of the subject, his speech was filled with mania coupled with the occasional droning. WFAN hosts do not disappoint. Their personalities and styles are what make the station among the most listened to by men 18-54 years of age. Credit to Toastedjoe for creating a game in response to the loveable talking heads that involves everyone's favorite activity - drinking:
"The rules are simple. During any WFAN broadcast, take a drink whenever any of the following events take place:
1. Every time Joe Beningo says "ohhh, the pain!"
2. Every time Steve Sommers uses a Yiddish word.
3. Every time Mike Francesa repeats himself over the course of a show (warning: may result in alcohol poisoning)
4. Every time a Yankee fan caller says the word "Jee-tuh."
5. Every time you laugh at the mental image of Mike and Dog "goin' at it as hard as they can!" (actual line from their theme song)
6. Every time Beningo says "...when of COUUUURSE..."
7. Every time you hear the words "first time, long time."
8. Every time Doggie says "If that happens....I'll live wit' it. I'll live wit' it."
9. Every time Francesa cuts off a stupid caller by saying "You're gone...goodbye. Goodbye."
10. Every time Doggie cackles.
11. Every time Beningo says "...and you just KNOW" something bad will happen to the Mets, Jets, Rangers, or Knicks.
12. Every time Richard Neer asks himself a question and gives a wishy-washy answer ("Will Pedro's injury hurt the Mets in the long run? I don't know.")
13. Every time Doggie says "waaaaaaaaw!!"
14. Every time Mike and Dog read a Steinbrenner "missive."
15. Every time Sweeney Murti calls in and kisses some Yankee ass.
16. Every time Mike and/or Dog bash Mets management.
17. Every time Doggie's basis for an argument is "that's all there is to it." (e.g., "Coughlin's gotta kick the field goal there, that's all there is to it.")
18. Every time Beningo mentions Scott Kazmir.
Happy drinkin'!"
Each morning I lend an ear to whomever is replacing the nationally syndicated Imus spot for the day. This morning's attempt to give a chance to the garden-variety talker yielded the following brief exchange between the radio and myself, followed by an immediate changing of the dial:
Radio announcer: You're listening to Geraldo Rivera on SportsRadio66 WFAN New York.
Me: Noo I'm not. Don Imus must be rolling in his grave.
The studios are in Astoria, Queens. I should get there at six each morning, do a four hour show, and head to school. I've got to be less maddening than Geraldo and I definitely would command a smaller salary. Get at me, (station manager) Chernoff.
End FAN talk.
I don't know what I want to do when I grew up. I had it figured out so much better when I looked like this. Kudos to Cousin Dylan for being awesome and now cancer-free.
Friday, May 4, 2007
First off, I'd like to say thanks to all of you who've been reading so far. I'm up to 102 clicks as of this writing, and at least half of those aren't even mine!
Even though most of my posts have been political in nature, that's not what I'm completely about. Just been sorta riled up lately.
I'm working on Sunday. At a funeral home, to be more specific. No, I've never seen Six Feet Under so I don't know if it's the same. The funeral business, like any other business, is a business. I'm not a licensed funeral director (nor will I ever be), so I don't do the especially gruesome stuff. I'm an assistant to the funeral directors, nine men ranging in age from thirty-five to sixty-seven. When I'm not supervising wakes or performing mundane office tasks, I talk baseball, comedy, women, and life with some of the younger guys. I've never had a burning desire to work in a funeral home, I just needed money and a kid I knew from high school mentioned the good pay here.
After three years, I leave the place in a week. I'm interning for a Big 4 accounting firm this summer, a summer which I've been looking forward to more than any other. I'll be living at Fordham's Lincoln Center campus during the internship. Manhattan living has been a desire of mine since I was a boy of six, walking with my Mother in the cool December evenings of the truly magical Christmastime in the City. I always wondered why visit the magic when you can live among it.
Even though most of my posts have been political in nature, that's not what I'm completely about. Just been sorta riled up lately.
I'm working on Sunday. At a funeral home, to be more specific. No, I've never seen Six Feet Under so I don't know if it's the same. The funeral business, like any other business, is a business. I'm not a licensed funeral director (nor will I ever be), so I don't do the especially gruesome stuff. I'm an assistant to the funeral directors, nine men ranging in age from thirty-five to sixty-seven. When I'm not supervising wakes or performing mundane office tasks, I talk baseball, comedy, women, and life with some of the younger guys. I've never had a burning desire to work in a funeral home, I just needed money and a kid I knew from high school mentioned the good pay here.
After three years, I leave the place in a week. I'm interning for a Big 4 accounting firm this summer, a summer which I've been looking forward to more than any other. I'll be living at Fordham's Lincoln Center campus during the internship. Manhattan living has been a desire of mine since I was a boy of six, walking with my Mother in the cool December evenings of the truly magical Christmastime in the City. I always wondered why visit the magic when you can live among it.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
(I Mus)t Be Dreaming
Nappy-headed hos.
Sounds ridiculous, right? An ignorant, insensitive, irresponsible remark uttered by a major media figure whose guests include senators and journalists, and who devotes nearly all of his free time to helping kids with cancer.
Rewind to April 4th. MSNBC hasn't fired Don Imus yet. CBS Radio hasn't suspended him for two weeks yet. No one knows of the eloquence of Coach Vivian Stringer, and the I-Man hasn't been 24-hour news fodder.
OK. Now have the heads of General Motors, Proctor & Gamble, Staples, the president of NBC News, and all of the politicians and authors who have now said they'll never appear on his show again tune into the Imus in the Morning Radio Program that morning. Don Imus and his producer, Bernard McGuirk, are discussing the NCAA Women's Basketball championship matchup. Imus refers to the Rutgers team as a bunch of nappy-headed hos. Now observe how all of these people react to the remark, independently of each other. Does NBC News President Steve Capus fire him on the spot? Does Bigelow Teas pull their ads right away? Are they even going to react with anything more than a shrug and something like, "Oh, it's Imus being Imus"?
If you answered yes to any of those questions, folks, keep in mind that I was born at night. But not last night.
Point is, none of these hyprocrites would do a damn thing about this whole situation if they didn't face the prospects of bad publicity and lost revenue. People accusing Imus of damage control? Please also mention the same about American Express and Cal Ripken, Jr.
This is all happening in the wake of Michael Richards' tirade and George Allen's macacagate. Richards got nostalgiac for days of violence and lynching of blacks. Allen managed to bring up the war on terror immediately after his slur to invent a comparison. Imus got lazy and fell into the trap of his old shock-jock days. His behavior is paltry when juxtaposed with the hatefulness of the other two.
Imus has repeated the word "context" in the past week. The conversational context of his words don't justify them. But take a look at his three-decade career. I've listened to him for a tenth of that period, and during this time he has continued his tremendous philanthropy towards the C.J. Foundation for SIDS, the Tomorrows Children's Fund, and the Imus Ranch. He beat the drums of support for former-Congressman Harold Ford, Jr. who unsuccessfully ran for the Senate in 2006. Harold Ford is a black man, and Imus deplored the racial sentiment which likely caused him to lose a squeaker of a race.
Some of the loudest people in this mess have been two groups who shouldn't even talk. These are those who have listened to his show for years and are somehow surprised that he makes fun of people for just about anything, and those who have never listened to the show and think that he should be fired without question.
This is between Don Imus and the Rutgers team. He dumped on an innocent target, and he's doing the right thing by meeting with them to apologize. They'd have every right to refuse, and they have shown tremendous dignity. Those who are outraged for the sake of being outraged are doing more harm than good. The race movement in this country should be about uniting, not casting someone out of society who made a mistake and has promised to change.
As a final point, MSNBC has acted wrecklessly for announcing this decision tonight. The 18th Annual Telethon for his three causes mentioned above takes place tomorrow and Friday. The telethon has been enormously successful and has raised millions for the charities. If the network really felt they had to do this, they should have waited 48 hours rather than cheating sick children and families who have dealt with Sudden Infant Death Syndrome out of something truly great. MSNBC should be held to the same scrunity for their irresponsibility.
Sounds ridiculous, right? An ignorant, insensitive, irresponsible remark uttered by a major media figure whose guests include senators and journalists, and who devotes nearly all of his free time to helping kids with cancer.
Rewind to April 4th. MSNBC hasn't fired Don Imus yet. CBS Radio hasn't suspended him for two weeks yet. No one knows of the eloquence of Coach Vivian Stringer, and the I-Man hasn't been 24-hour news fodder.
OK. Now have the heads of General Motors, Proctor & Gamble, Staples, the president of NBC News, and all of the politicians and authors who have now said they'll never appear on his show again tune into the Imus in the Morning Radio Program that morning. Don Imus and his producer, Bernard McGuirk, are discussing the NCAA Women's Basketball championship matchup. Imus refers to the Rutgers team as a bunch of nappy-headed hos. Now observe how all of these people react to the remark, independently of each other. Does NBC News President Steve Capus fire him on the spot? Does Bigelow Teas pull their ads right away? Are they even going to react with anything more than a shrug and something like, "Oh, it's Imus being Imus"?
If you answered yes to any of those questions, folks, keep in mind that I was born at night. But not last night.
Point is, none of these hyprocrites would do a damn thing about this whole situation if they didn't face the prospects of bad publicity and lost revenue. People accusing Imus of damage control? Please also mention the same about American Express and Cal Ripken, Jr.
This is all happening in the wake of Michael Richards' tirade and George Allen's macacagate. Richards got nostalgiac for days of violence and lynching of blacks. Allen managed to bring up the war on terror immediately after his slur to invent a comparison. Imus got lazy and fell into the trap of his old shock-jock days. His behavior is paltry when juxtaposed with the hatefulness of the other two.
Imus has repeated the word "context" in the past week. The conversational context of his words don't justify them. But take a look at his three-decade career. I've listened to him for a tenth of that period, and during this time he has continued his tremendous philanthropy towards the C.J. Foundation for SIDS, the Tomorrows Children's Fund, and the Imus Ranch. He beat the drums of support for former-Congressman Harold Ford, Jr. who unsuccessfully ran for the Senate in 2006. Harold Ford is a black man, and Imus deplored the racial sentiment which likely caused him to lose a squeaker of a race.
Some of the loudest people in this mess have been two groups who shouldn't even talk. These are those who have listened to his show for years and are somehow surprised that he makes fun of people for just about anything, and those who have never listened to the show and think that he should be fired without question.
This is between Don Imus and the Rutgers team. He dumped on an innocent target, and he's doing the right thing by meeting with them to apologize. They'd have every right to refuse, and they have shown tremendous dignity. Those who are outraged for the sake of being outraged are doing more harm than good. The race movement in this country should be about uniting, not casting someone out of society who made a mistake and has promised to change.
As a final point, MSNBC has acted wrecklessly for announcing this decision tonight. The 18th Annual Telethon for his three causes mentioned above takes place tomorrow and Friday. The telethon has been enormously successful and has raised millions for the charities. If the network really felt they had to do this, they should have waited 48 hours rather than cheating sick children and families who have dealt with Sudden Infant Death Syndrome out of something truly great. MSNBC should be held to the same scrunity for their irresponsibility.
Monday, April 9, 2007
Spiritual Notebook? WHATTTTT
First, my apologies for the like of blogage. My mind is more active than the frequency of my posts.
I'm writing mainly because I have to extinguish the bad taste in my mouth from a speech I just wrote. I serve on the pastoral council of my parish. Yes, I'm one of the rare young people who practices a somewhat active faith life. Christianity has always served as a good moral compass for me. There was a brilliant op-ed in The Times this weekend which I'd share but I've already thrown it out and couldn't find it on the site. Anywho, it compared the contrasting mantras of President Bush and Jesus Christ. To paraphrase, Bush said, "You're either with us or you're against us," five years ago. His approval rating hovers in the thirties. Jesus said, "Those who are not against us are with us." Two thousand years later, over a billion call themselves Christians.
Back on point, I agreed to serve on this council because the pastor wanted a youth voice and he saw me as a leader. I think I got in a little over my head, however, because we were asked to each prepare a five-minute talk at Mass. My topic is teaching. Not the most brilliant piece I've ever written, and I'm a little ashamed to say I'm speaking on a topic of which I know little. Therefore, I did what's best for a bad speech. I kept it short.
Jimmy Rollins? The Mets are the team to beat. At least your team just earned the first draft pick for next year.
Bad taste extinguished.
I'm writing mainly because I have to extinguish the bad taste in my mouth from a speech I just wrote. I serve on the pastoral council of my parish. Yes, I'm one of the rare young people who practices a somewhat active faith life. Christianity has always served as a good moral compass for me. There was a brilliant op-ed in The Times this weekend which I'd share but I've already thrown it out and couldn't find it on the site. Anywho, it compared the contrasting mantras of President Bush and Jesus Christ. To paraphrase, Bush said, "You're either with us or you're against us," five years ago. His approval rating hovers in the thirties. Jesus said, "Those who are not against us are with us." Two thousand years later, over a billion call themselves Christians.
Back on point, I agreed to serve on this council because the pastor wanted a youth voice and he saw me as a leader. I think I got in a little over my head, however, because we were asked to each prepare a five-minute talk at Mass. My topic is teaching. Not the most brilliant piece I've ever written, and I'm a little ashamed to say I'm speaking on a topic of which I know little. Therefore, I did what's best for a bad speech. I kept it short.
Jimmy Rollins? The Mets are the team to beat. At least your team just earned the first draft pick for next year.
Bad taste extinguished.
Monday, March 19, 2007
Time for AG the AG to be A-Gon(e), Along With The Boss
Oh, seriously. C'mon.
On November 2, 2004, I was one of those people that most of you probably hated. Chanting "FOUR MORE YEARS" until early the next morning, I figured our nation would see a comfortable stretch until 2008. Now, I just hope we can last another twenty-two months without another:
Katrina
Harriet Miers
Walter Reed.
Those are just the first three that come to mind. I won't get into today being the fourth anniversary of a war of whose duration our Secretary of Defense at the time predicted, "Three days, three weeks. I doubt it'll last three months." We all know the toll it's caused on our boys. I've been trying to see the bright side of it all, but this shows no signs of winnability. I don't doubt that many innocent Iraqi citizens probably want us there. The United States military has a long history of being a comfort to the oppressed. But...Well, I said I really wasn't gonna get into the war.
Anyway, if you don't know by now, our Justice Department headed by Attorney General Alberto Gonzales has been accused of firing eight U.S. attorneys for "politically motivated" reasons. There's a trail of e-mails, and one of the big scapegoats is now the aforementioned Ms. Miers. The Pit Bull in Size 6 Shoes recently resigned as White House legal counsel, a job which she inherited from AG the AG when he became the AG. Harriet apparently suggested the removal of the Justice Department attorneys because they weren't in line with the Bush administration enough. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senator Patrick Leahy of Vermont are among those calling for A-Gon's resignation. They want him to testify before Congress. They want Karl Rove to testify (they also want world peace, the ability to fly, and three wishes from a genie). More dramatically, they want Gonzales to resign.
Honestly, I don't know enough to really say what A-Gon has done for our country at the helm of the Justice Department. Not to say he's necessarily done a horrible job, but if he did something that great, I'd probably know about it. He has nothing to gain by staying, people will be raging about this until January 2009. President Bush probably has a lot to lose by keeping him, although with an all-time low 30% approval rating, I'm not really sure what could be left. He did finally show some moxie by having Secretary of Defense Bob Gates roll some heads over Walter Reed, and I think he should do the same here.
Many people hate Mr. Bush. I say two things to this. First I actually think he's a good person. He's tremendously loyal to his friends. His, um, unique style of speaking leaves little room for him to be devious and disingenuine. I don't think he lied to us, knowingly, anyway. The flipside of his loyalty is what makes him a bad president - namely, keeping Cheney, keeping Rumsfeld for as long as he did, telling Brownie he did a heck of a job, and nominating Pitty for the Supreme Court. On a side note, the New York Times mentioned this weekend that "the president's remarks...seemed more like private words to a friend than public praise of an employee." Although a good George W. Bush does not a good Bush 43 make, CLEARLY the man has some redeemable traits.
Second, like it or not, he's our president. Whether you approve of the person holding office has nothing to do with whether you should support him. No one ever has to approve. That's why we vote. But if you choose to live here, that means you think this is the greatest land on the Earth. In order for that to continue, we as citizens must root for the nation's most visible and powerful leader to do a good job.
I really hope this is the last scandal. Frankly, I don't think anything short of finding bin Laden and getting out of Iraq before 2009 will vindicate the administration. Although I'll continue to hope and pray for the best, it is in our best interests to elect a new leader. Luckily, we have to.
On November 2, 2004, I was one of those people that most of you probably hated. Chanting "FOUR MORE YEARS" until early the next morning, I figured our nation would see a comfortable stretch until 2008. Now, I just hope we can last another twenty-two months without another:
Katrina
Harriet Miers
Walter Reed.
Those are just the first three that come to mind. I won't get into today being the fourth anniversary of a war of whose duration our Secretary of Defense at the time predicted, "Three days, three weeks. I doubt it'll last three months." We all know the toll it's caused on our boys. I've been trying to see the bright side of it all, but this shows no signs of winnability. I don't doubt that many innocent Iraqi citizens probably want us there. The United States military has a long history of being a comfort to the oppressed. But...Well, I said I really wasn't gonna get into the war.
Anyway, if you don't know by now, our Justice Department headed by Attorney General Alberto Gonzales has been accused of firing eight U.S. attorneys for "politically motivated" reasons. There's a trail of e-mails, and one of the big scapegoats is now the aforementioned Ms. Miers. The Pit Bull in Size 6 Shoes recently resigned as White House legal counsel, a job which she inherited from AG the AG when he became the AG. Harriet apparently suggested the removal of the Justice Department attorneys because they weren't in line with the Bush administration enough. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senator Patrick Leahy of Vermont are among those calling for A-Gon's resignation. They want him to testify before Congress. They want Karl Rove to testify (they also want world peace, the ability to fly, and three wishes from a genie). More dramatically, they want Gonzales to resign.
Honestly, I don't know enough to really say what A-Gon has done for our country at the helm of the Justice Department. Not to say he's necessarily done a horrible job, but if he did something that great, I'd probably know about it. He has nothing to gain by staying, people will be raging about this until January 2009. President Bush probably has a lot to lose by keeping him, although with an all-time low 30% approval rating, I'm not really sure what could be left. He did finally show some moxie by having Secretary of Defense Bob Gates roll some heads over Walter Reed, and I think he should do the same here.
Many people hate Mr. Bush. I say two things to this. First I actually think he's a good person. He's tremendously loyal to his friends. His, um, unique style of speaking leaves little room for him to be devious and disingenuine. I don't think he lied to us, knowingly, anyway. The flipside of his loyalty is what makes him a bad president - namely, keeping Cheney, keeping Rumsfeld for as long as he did, telling Brownie he did a heck of a job, and nominating Pitty for the Supreme Court. On a side note, the New York Times mentioned this weekend that "the president's remarks...seemed more like private words to a friend than public praise of an employee." Although a good George W. Bush does not a good Bush 43 make, CLEARLY the man has some redeemable traits.
Second, like it or not, he's our president. Whether you approve of the person holding office has nothing to do with whether you should support him. No one ever has to approve. That's why we vote. But if you choose to live here, that means you think this is the greatest land on the Earth. In order for that to continue, we as citizens must root for the nation's most visible and powerful leader to do a good job.
I really hope this is the last scandal. Frankly, I don't think anything short of finding bin Laden and getting out of Iraq before 2009 will vindicate the administration. Although I'll continue to hope and pray for the best, it is in our best interests to elect a new leader. Luckily, we have to.
Thursday, March 1, 2007
On the Count of Serving Jury Duty, We Find the Defendant Innocent. For Now.
During Christmas break, I received a Juror Questionnaire. When I was about thirteen, my Mom received one. She groaned and whined about it, and I proudly announced that I couldn't wait until I was called for jury duty. My, what a difference eight years makes.
I looked upon this piece of mail from Gloria D'Amico, Commissioner of Jurors with annoyed dismay and a tinge of guilt. I've grown to dislike doing things I don't want to do but seem to have to do, anyway. However, the idealist whisper in me served as a reminder of civic duty - that if I really love my country as much as I say I do, I should be honored to be part of the judicial process.
The whisper was quickly overtaken by a series of rhetorical questions. Do they know I'm a full-time student? Do they know that I can't get someone to go to class for me or waste time on campus with my friends for me? In short: Do they know who I am? Not one to cause an unnecessary ruckus, however, I sent the form back immediately and remarked in the special notes section that I'm a full-time student.
About a month ago, I heard from good old Gloria again, this time in the form of a Jury Duty Summons death knell. That was it, I told myself. They were really starting to piss me off. But powerless, I followed the instructions on my summons to attempt an excusion. This being the painfully tedious New York City bureaucracy, I couldn't call or express my condition on-line. My presence was cordially required at Queens County Civil Courthouse itself.
I prepared for my visit with an answer to every question the judge could possibly have for me. I say judge because for some reason I assumed I'd have to go before a judge. I was ready to explain my status at Fordham University, complete with class schedule in hand. I even brought my internship contract with PricewaterhouseCoopers in case he wanted me to serve in the summer. If he did, I would have asked nicely if he'd reconsider because, well, something about how this internship could hinge on my entire future. After those initial formalities, he'd remark his daughter went to Fordham and that his wife is a tax partner at PwC. He'd say, "Who's your team?"
"The Mets," I'd reply.
"We gonna show those Cardinals who's boss this year?"
"I certainly hope so, your honor."
"Get out of my court, kid. We'll see you back here when you can grow some fuzz on your chin."
It eluded me that judges do more important things with their days, like roll their eyes at defendants and put ambitious lawyers in their place, so I'd have to deal with one of the peons.
For those of you who don't have experience with any New York City agency, consider yourself lucky. They all employ under-educated, barely competent, and soulless individuals who stand in your way of getting what you need from them, whether it be a driver's license or a burial permit (I work in a funeral home. Different story for a different day). City clerks must get some sort of pleasure out of their ability to exert control over another's life for a short period of time, because no one could naturally work that slow. Or be so oppressively ignorant with regards to another's situation.
Walking into the building, I was greeted by the requisite metal detectors. I smiled a tacit good morning to the court officer running the scanner, but she waved me along with an annoyed hand. Seriously, what's the harm in returning a smile? I walked up to Room 244, the one for Jurors with Questions. I'm sure if you took a survey of the clerks and asked what kind of questions they get, they hear, "How the hell do I can out of serving," quite a bit more than, "What sort of mental preparation should I do to serve most fairly as a member of such a prestigious body?" But that's all just conjecture.
The only moment of my visit that pleasantly surprised me was that there was no long queue loaded with smelly, unshowered bodies or children with sticky hands touching every wall in sight as their parents ineffectively called after them. In fact, I seemed to be the only juror with a question at the time. A person of indeterminate gender greeted me on the other side of the room. And by greeted, I mean indifferently calling out, "How can I help you, sir."
"I came to get excused from jury duty. I am a full-time student."
"Do you have proof that you're a student?"
"Um, I have school ID and a schedule."
"Your schedule please."
"Umm, so what do I do now?"
"Please write the date you'll be able to serve by on your summons."
"Well, I graduate in a year and a half, so should I put August 2008?"
"No, that's longer than the six month window. You'll simply have to come back if you're called again and prove that you're still in school."
"But. But. But. Won't that be a colossal waste of time since I've already told you that this will be my situation for a while?"
"Sir, that's all I can tell you."
Sir, that's all I can tell you?! If he or she (probably a he, I think that's what I may have decided at the end of our wonderful conversation) said that to a client in the private sector, he or she would find himself or herself on an unemployment line rather quickly. I left the courthouse in a rage, and thought long and hard about what I just went through.
Looking at it from a utilitarian perspective, shouldn't what we do for our society be the best alternative that services the greatest good for the greatest number? How will my city be better served: By me sitting on a tedious case with tedious facts making a tedious decision with eleven other painfully bored citizens, or by me spending this time studying and working towards my degree, which will earn me a good job and allow me to pour money back into the New York economy in which I plan in participating for the rest of my life? THAT should have been a topic of discussion during my trip. If this ridiculous bureaucracy had room for negotiation and logical discussion, my whole situation would have been a non-issue. To solve this from now on, they should first draw a jury pool from the retired and the unemployed. It would give the elderly something to do and much needed self-esteem by feeling needed, and it would give the workless something productive. And don't they pay (slightly) jurors, anyway? Then they can tap into people who have jobs.
"Hey, are you busy at work? Could you take a few days and serve?"
"Sure, the boss has been riding my ass and it'll be good to get out of the office for a few days. Hell, put me on the case of the century if ya got it."
Or maybe:
"Eh, you know, I'm up for partner this year. Really not available right now. But my wife's always complaining she's got nothing to do. Call her up, I'm sure she'll be glad to help."
See? Negotiation. It works if people give it a try. And don't tell me that this doesn't fall into the notion that one should be tried by a jury of his peers. Minors and non-citizen immigrants are part of our society, and they're not expected to serve, either.
I looked upon this piece of mail from Gloria D'Amico, Commissioner of Jurors with annoyed dismay and a tinge of guilt. I've grown to dislike doing things I don't want to do but seem to have to do, anyway. However, the idealist whisper in me served as a reminder of civic duty - that if I really love my country as much as I say I do, I should be honored to be part of the judicial process.
The whisper was quickly overtaken by a series of rhetorical questions. Do they know I'm a full-time student? Do they know that I can't get someone to go to class for me or waste time on campus with my friends for me? In short: Do they know who I am? Not one to cause an unnecessary ruckus, however, I sent the form back immediately and remarked in the special notes section that I'm a full-time student.
About a month ago, I heard from good old Gloria again, this time in the form of a Jury Duty Summons death knell. That was it, I told myself. They were really starting to piss me off. But powerless, I followed the instructions on my summons to attempt an excusion. This being the painfully tedious New York City bureaucracy, I couldn't call or express my condition on-line. My presence was cordially required at Queens County Civil Courthouse itself.
I prepared for my visit with an answer to every question the judge could possibly have for me. I say judge because for some reason I assumed I'd have to go before a judge. I was ready to explain my status at Fordham University, complete with class schedule in hand. I even brought my internship contract with PricewaterhouseCoopers in case he wanted me to serve in the summer. If he did, I would have asked nicely if he'd reconsider because, well, something about how this internship could hinge on my entire future. After those initial formalities, he'd remark his daughter went to Fordham and that his wife is a tax partner at PwC. He'd say, "Who's your team?"
"The Mets," I'd reply.
"We gonna show those Cardinals who's boss this year?"
"I certainly hope so, your honor."
"Get out of my court, kid. We'll see you back here when you can grow some fuzz on your chin."
It eluded me that judges do more important things with their days, like roll their eyes at defendants and put ambitious lawyers in their place, so I'd have to deal with one of the peons.
For those of you who don't have experience with any New York City agency, consider yourself lucky. They all employ under-educated, barely competent, and soulless individuals who stand in your way of getting what you need from them, whether it be a driver's license or a burial permit (I work in a funeral home. Different story for a different day). City clerks must get some sort of pleasure out of their ability to exert control over another's life for a short period of time, because no one could naturally work that slow. Or be so oppressively ignorant with regards to another's situation.
Walking into the building, I was greeted by the requisite metal detectors. I smiled a tacit good morning to the court officer running the scanner, but she waved me along with an annoyed hand. Seriously, what's the harm in returning a smile? I walked up to Room 244, the one for Jurors with Questions. I'm sure if you took a survey of the clerks and asked what kind of questions they get, they hear, "How the hell do I can out of serving," quite a bit more than, "What sort of mental preparation should I do to serve most fairly as a member of such a prestigious body?" But that's all just conjecture.
The only moment of my visit that pleasantly surprised me was that there was no long queue loaded with smelly, unshowered bodies or children with sticky hands touching every wall in sight as their parents ineffectively called after them. In fact, I seemed to be the only juror with a question at the time. A person of indeterminate gender greeted me on the other side of the room. And by greeted, I mean indifferently calling out, "How can I help you, sir."
"I came to get excused from jury duty. I am a full-time student."
"Do you have proof that you're a student?"
"Um, I have school ID and a schedule."
"Your schedule please."
"Umm, so what do I do now?"
"Please write the date you'll be able to serve by on your summons."
"Well, I graduate in a year and a half, so should I put August 2008?"
"No, that's longer than the six month window. You'll simply have to come back if you're called again and prove that you're still in school."
"But. But. But. Won't that be a colossal waste of time since I've already told you that this will be my situation for a while?"
"Sir, that's all I can tell you."
Sir, that's all I can tell you?! If he or she (probably a he, I think that's what I may have decided at the end of our wonderful conversation) said that to a client in the private sector, he or she would find himself or herself on an unemployment line rather quickly. I left the courthouse in a rage, and thought long and hard about what I just went through.
Looking at it from a utilitarian perspective, shouldn't what we do for our society be the best alternative that services the greatest good for the greatest number? How will my city be better served: By me sitting on a tedious case with tedious facts making a tedious decision with eleven other painfully bored citizens, or by me spending this time studying and working towards my degree, which will earn me a good job and allow me to pour money back into the New York economy in which I plan in participating for the rest of my life? THAT should have been a topic of discussion during my trip. If this ridiculous bureaucracy had room for negotiation and logical discussion, my whole situation would have been a non-issue. To solve this from now on, they should first draw a jury pool from the retired and the unemployed. It would give the elderly something to do and much needed self-esteem by feeling needed, and it would give the workless something productive. And don't they pay (slightly) jurors, anyway? Then they can tap into people who have jobs.
"Hey, are you busy at work? Could you take a few days and serve?"
"Sure, the boss has been riding my ass and it'll be good to get out of the office for a few days. Hell, put me on the case of the century if ya got it."
Or maybe:
"Eh, you know, I'm up for partner this year. Really not available right now. But my wife's always complaining she's got nothing to do. Call her up, I'm sure she'll be glad to help."
See? Negotiation. It works if people give it a try. And don't tell me that this doesn't fall into the notion that one should be tried by a jury of his peers. Minors and non-citizen immigrants are part of our society, and they're not expected to serve, either.
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