Ryan: ...so that you can communicate it to the people here, to your clients, to whomever
Michael: It's whoever, not whomever. Whomever is never actually right
Jim: Well, sometimes it's right
Creed: Michael is right, it's a made up word used to trick students
Andy: No, actually, whomever is the formal version of whoever
Oscar: Well, obviously it's a real word, but I don't know when to use it correctly
Michael: Not a native speaker
Kevin: I know what's right, but I'm not gonna say, because you're all jerks who didn't come see my band last night
Ryan: Do you really know which one's correct?
Kevin: I don't know
Pam: It's whom when it's the object of the sentence, and who when it is the subject
Phyllis: That sounds right
Michael: It sounds right, but is it right?
Stanley: How did Ryan use it, as an object?
Ryan: As an object
Kelly: Ryan used me as an object
Stanley: Is he right about that?
Pam: How did he use it again?
Toby: It was Ryan wanted Michael, the subject, to explain the computer system, the object -
Michael: Thank you!
Toby: ...to whomever, meaning us, the indirect object. Which is the correct usage of the word.
Michael: No one asked you anything, ever, so whomever's name is Toby. Why don't you take a letter opener and stick it in your skull?
Friday, October 19, 2007
Monday, October 15, 2007
I'm(us) coming back!
Many uncomfirmed reports have gotten more and more detailed lately about the return of the wildly popular and tragically cut short "Imus in the Morning" program. One in the Daily News this morning that I can't seem to find online said that some I-People were in WABC's studios last week to check on logistics.
As many of you know, I spent every morning drive until this past April chuckling at the political and social musings of J. Donald Imus and his crew. I'm sure if you were to survey most young people on the street, the only thing they've ever heard about him is Nappygate. While I agree with the notion that he deserved some sort of punishment for that (the original two-week suspension that CBS handed down, for example), he doesn't get enough attention for the autism awareness he's raised in Congress - bet you didn't know that one in 167 newborns is diagnosed with it, huh? Or his charity ranch for kids with cancer. Or even his endorsement of Harold Ford, Jr. (a black man) for the U.S. Senate just last November. When the advertisers ran, CBS and NBC didn't take into consideration the full thirty-year body of work before they wussed out. Now they'll get their comeuppance in December when ABC kicks their behinds in ad revenue. The new and improved Imus in the Morning radio program will once again be a must-listen.
::pushes the soapbox back under his bed::
Friday, October 5, 2007
Friday Hodge Podge
One of my female readers asked me the other if this was now exclusively a baseball blog. (You could have expressed that in a comment, I mean that's what comment boxes are for, geez). It is not, nor will it be, it just so happens that I write about what I know and where my passions lie. That'll probably be my last Mets post until March, unless Omar Minaya pulls off the insane and trades Lastings Milledge for Johan Santana. Actually, I'll be too busy to write because I'll be gone for a week or so volunteering to drive Lastings to Minnesota and pick up Johan. And Lastings, don't get any ideas. I control the radio.
Fordham held its first "Senior Night" of the year. Twenty-one year old seniors are allowed to come, drink for two bucks a beer or glass of wine, and dance the night away with fellow seniors. What I enjoyed so much is that for once Fordham was selling something under 125% of market rate. Maybe it's because Jesuits are such fans of brewskies. Anyway, I was please to find that I recognized about 90% of the people there. Of this group, a third of them I know well enough to chat with, another third I see sporadically on campus or in class, and the rest I thought died or worse transferred because I haven't seen them since freshman year in my random liberal arts core classes. I believe a good time was had by all; it was by me at least, and I look forward to next month's 80s theme.
For those of you who watch The Office, last night was so much better than the season premiere. I like the direction they're going in with Ryan, once-temp-now-boss, being villain-istic. I mean it was set up nicely the past two seasons with exposing him as a heartless corporate type more suited for Lehman than a failing regional paper company in Scranton, PA. I know I've been whining lately about devoting too much time to the romances of Jam, Relly, Janchael, and Dwangela, but they did an awesome job with all of those last night. That's in spite of the fact that two of those four (I won't say who so that you can watch the episode online and by clicking on the video link NBC knows that millions across the country actually watch the show and it can stay on for four hundred more years) didn't survive the night. My gut tells me both couples will be back together soon, and we'll be all the better for it.
Ahh, five day weekends. I'm gonna go spend mine now studying for the GMAT. It's a comfort to me knowing that tonight while all of you are getting loaded and participating in marvelous random hookups, you'll simultaneously envy me while I'm on my fourth cup of coffee taking online diagnostics.
Out.
Fordham held its first "Senior Night" of the year. Twenty-one year old seniors are allowed to come, drink for two bucks a beer or glass of wine, and dance the night away with fellow seniors. What I enjoyed so much is that for once Fordham was selling something under 125% of market rate. Maybe it's because Jesuits are such fans of brewskies. Anyway, I was please to find that I recognized about 90% of the people there. Of this group, a third of them I know well enough to chat with, another third I see sporadically on campus or in class, and the rest I thought died or worse transferred because I haven't seen them since freshman year in my random liberal arts core classes. I believe a good time was had by all; it was by me at least, and I look forward to next month's 80s theme.
For those of you who watch The Office, last night was so much better than the season premiere. I like the direction they're going in with Ryan, once-temp-now-boss, being villain-istic. I mean it was set up nicely the past two seasons with exposing him as a heartless corporate type more suited for Lehman than a failing regional paper company in Scranton, PA. I know I've been whining lately about devoting too much time to the romances of Jam, Relly, Janchael, and Dwangela, but they did an awesome job with all of those last night. That's in spite of the fact that two of those four (I won't say who so that you can watch the episode online and by clicking on the video link NBC knows that millions across the country actually watch the show and it can stay on for four hundred more years) didn't survive the night. My gut tells me both couples will be back together soon, and we'll be all the better for it.
Ahh, five day weekends. I'm gonna go spend mine now studying for the GMAT. It's a comfort to me knowing that tonight while all of you are getting loaded and participating in marvelous random hookups, you'll simultaneously envy me while I'm on my fourth cup of coffee taking online diagnostics.
Out.
Monday, October 1, 2007
Your (Off-)Season Has Come
I came home this evening to the following e-mail for the Collapsins':
Dear Mets Fan:
All of us at the Mets are bitterly disappointed in failing to achieve our collective goal of building upon last year's success. We did not meet our organization's expectations -- or yours. Everyone at Shea feels the same range of emotions as you -- our loyal fans -- and we know we have let you down. We wanted to thank you for your record-breaking support of our team this year.
Equally important, Ownership will continue its commitment in providing the resources necessary to field a championship team. Omar will be meeting with Ownership shortly to present his plan on addressing our shortcomings so that we can achieve our goal of winning championships in 2008 and beyond.
You deserve better results.
Many thanks again for your record-breaking support.
I'm not sure what this e-mail means to me. Is it better than nothing? Yes. But I also feel they mean the final line to mean: "Many thanks again for your record-breaking support. We can expect the same from you next year, right? Eh? Eh?"
I may have appreciated this message more if all twenty-five (I don't care about the additional September call-ups) players lined the field after the final out to read this statement to the 30,000+ who stayed to go down with the ship.
I hereby provide my analysis of The Team, The Time, The Collapse:
If Mets fans can find a single rallying cry of anger, a single quote to point to as why we're so pissed-off at these bums, it was when Carlos Delgado waved the then-budding collapse off with: "I think at times we can get a little careless. We’ve got so much talent I think sometimes we get bored."
Reyes, Castillo, Wright, Beltran, Alou, Delgado, LoDuca, Green. What pitcher would ever think of wanting to face that row? Well, in September, he wouldn't while his team was behind anyway. But once his team inevitably came back from its five run deficit, he could go out to the mound with confidence that the Mutts would not score another run.
Pitching? HA. A man with 303 career wins couldn't get past 1/27th of a game. More on him later. But as the season wore on and a five inning effort from the starters was inevitable, the porous bullpen coughed up everything.
Now let's talk about the members of the most infamous New York sports failure ever individually - and whoever thought anyone could top the Yankees' choke against Boston in '04?
David Wright: It's easy to start here, because the kid deserves no blame. After a horrible April, he posted a season anyone would sign up for: .325 batting average, 30 homers, 107 RBIs. An leader on the field and off at the tender age of 24, he didn't get bored or mail it in, ever.
Carlos Beltran: Again, almost nothing bad to say here. Had some rough patches, but he was on fire in August and September. Team leader in homers and RBIs. I'll be very depressed if he gets traded this winter, which has already been rumored possibly for Johan Santana.
Moises Alou: Omar, Moises, and all of us knew going into the season that 'lou would miss a significant amount of time. My only regret is that we didn't have a twenty-year younger version of the man.
Shawn Green: Not a bad tail-end of a career. Shalom, Shawnie.
Paul LoDuca: I sincerely hope that my last memory of the Duke is not limping to the plate with two out and the bases loaded, then grounding out to the pitcher. Not a terrific season, but better than most catchers our there. But we need his fire. If you cut the man, he would bleed orange and blue.
Pedro Martinez: What he could have done for us in the post-season, we can only wonder now. At least a full year of St. Pedro Days is something to look forward to next year.
John Maine, Ollie Perez: Gutsy, gutsy, gutsy. They may not have had Cy Young years, but the heart they showed during each and every start spare them any blame or criticism from Mets Nation.
Carlos Delgado: I was never big on the guy. When we got him I said I would have been perfectly fine keeping a young Mike Jacobs. And his aforementioned comment burns me up. Notably, Jacobs was on the winning side of that field yesterday. Delgado left the game with a broken hand.
The bench (Endy Chavez, Carlos Gomez, Marlon Anderson, Ruben Gotay, Ramon Castro): Many days towards the end I would've preferred some of you out there starting. Great job pinch hitting and Alou-subbing, guys.
Lastings Milledge: Gone. Bye. Just go. Omar, trade this immature punk who you've given more than enough chances to for a bullpen arm. We need that a lot more.
Tom Glavine: What a thief. He comes in to fill out a 300-win career in a major media market with a lot of money because Atlanta was done with him. We proceed to give him five years. Besides his 300th win, what highlights has he given us? He bombed in his first Mets start in 2003, and he bombed his last three. And while Mets fans were jumping off the Whitestone Bridge in droves, he says, "It's not devastating, but it's disappointing." GET OUT OF NEW YORK IF YOU THINK OUR FANS DON'T CARE. The next time I see him at Shea, it better in a Braves uniform during a 10-0 Mets' rout.
Bullpen: Wow. I hope some of you thought to ask Tom Glavine for a ride out of Shea permanently. You stay, Joe Smith - Rick Peterson burned you out. Actually, give Heilman a chance in the rotation. And Wagner, I hope your back spasms turn into mouth spasms so you save 35 games next year without saying a damn word.
Jose Reyes: I saved my remaining disappointment for you. (Wow, notice how I've slipped into the second-person as I've gotten more upset). You wanna be a top-line shortstop? I think you have what it takes. I wouldn't put it past you to eclipse Derek Jeter as the greatest New York shortstop by the time you enter the Hall. But Derek's got something you haven't developed yet: maturity. Man has four rings. He deserves to show a little flair. Once you broke the franchise stolen bases record, you became Mo Vaughn. Not running out ground balls? Swinging at the first pitch and popping out all the time? DANCING with Lastings Milledge after you're already up 10-0? You were a huge part of the reason why the rest of the National League hated your team this year, buddy. Hanley Ramirez would've come out in a wheelchair yesterday to see you lose. I don't know if Rickey Henderson gave you this uncalled for arrogance. If he did, listening to him is a mistake and I don't think you have to worry about him as one of your coaches next year anyway. Wake up, kid. Grow up and be who we all thought you would be and who you've shown you're capable of being.
As for Omar and Willie, they have to be back next year. I remember dancing in my room the night in Winter 2004 when I heard on WFAN that Omar Minaya would be named GM. Firing Omar and Willie would send us back to the Jim Duquette/Art (Whowhatwhenwherewhy)Howe era. No one wants to remember that.
Omar: Pull off some crazy stuff like you did in 2005 and 2006. Figure out a way to trade Aaron Sele for Todd Lincecum. Get us a bullpen, and don't give up Wright, Reyes, or Beltran in the process. I assure you, people will piss on your house if you do.
Willie: Man, I can't fault you for not charging an ump Billy Martin style. I know you're Cool Hand Willie and the bite in your words are conveyed to your players in private and not in media tirades. That's how it should be. I don't want antics, I want wins. But you gotta lay into Reyes more. Don't let Omar make your decisions for you, either. Be your own man in your clubhouse and dugout. As mad as we are and as irrational as many are being in calling for your head, Mets fans would love to see you on a World Series parade float. Bottom line is, we love you. Now show us some love back.
Garykeithandron: According to the Sports Pope, the Mets booth is the greatest in baseball. I knew that long before he had that revelation today. Keith Hernandez would be the only man I'd replace Willie Randolph with in a heartbeat. However, he's said that he loves going to the stadium every day, in a suit and not a uniform. Whether it was a seventeen inning nailbiter or a 7-0 pounding by a west coast team at 1am, these three made SNY must-see TV. These three make a strong case for team MVP.
Wait till next year, right?
Dear Mets Fan:
All of us at the Mets are bitterly disappointed in failing to achieve our collective goal of building upon last year's success. We did not meet our organization's expectations -- or yours. Everyone at Shea feels the same range of emotions as you -- our loyal fans -- and we know we have let you down. We wanted to thank you for your record-breaking support of our team this year.
Equally important, Ownership will continue its commitment in providing the resources necessary to field a championship team. Omar will be meeting with Ownership shortly to present his plan on addressing our shortcomings so that we can achieve our goal of winning championships in 2008 and beyond.
You deserve better results.
Many thanks again for your record-breaking support.
I'm not sure what this e-mail means to me. Is it better than nothing? Yes. But I also feel they mean the final line to mean: "Many thanks again for your record-breaking support. We can expect the same from you next year, right? Eh? Eh?"
I may have appreciated this message more if all twenty-five (I don't care about the additional September call-ups) players lined the field after the final out to read this statement to the 30,000+ who stayed to go down with the ship.
I hereby provide my analysis of The Team, The Time, The Collapse:
If Mets fans can find a single rallying cry of anger, a single quote to point to as why we're so pissed-off at these bums, it was when Carlos Delgado waved the then-budding collapse off with: "I think at times we can get a little careless. We’ve got so much talent I think sometimes we get bored."
Reyes, Castillo, Wright, Beltran, Alou, Delgado, LoDuca, Green. What pitcher would ever think of wanting to face that row? Well, in September, he wouldn't while his team was behind anyway. But once his team inevitably came back from its five run deficit, he could go out to the mound with confidence that the Mutts would not score another run.
Pitching? HA. A man with 303 career wins couldn't get past 1/27th of a game. More on him later. But as the season wore on and a five inning effort from the starters was inevitable, the porous bullpen coughed up everything.
Now let's talk about the members of the most infamous New York sports failure ever individually - and whoever thought anyone could top the Yankees' choke against Boston in '04?
David Wright: It's easy to start here, because the kid deserves no blame. After a horrible April, he posted a season anyone would sign up for: .325 batting average, 30 homers, 107 RBIs. An leader on the field and off at the tender age of 24, he didn't get bored or mail it in, ever.
Carlos Beltran: Again, almost nothing bad to say here. Had some rough patches, but he was on fire in August and September. Team leader in homers and RBIs. I'll be very depressed if he gets traded this winter, which has already been rumored possibly for Johan Santana.
Moises Alou: Omar, Moises, and all of us knew going into the season that 'lou would miss a significant amount of time. My only regret is that we didn't have a twenty-year younger version of the man.
Shawn Green: Not a bad tail-end of a career. Shalom, Shawnie.
Paul LoDuca: I sincerely hope that my last memory of the Duke is not limping to the plate with two out and the bases loaded, then grounding out to the pitcher. Not a terrific season, but better than most catchers our there. But we need his fire. If you cut the man, he would bleed orange and blue.
Pedro Martinez: What he could have done for us in the post-season, we can only wonder now. At least a full year of St. Pedro Days is something to look forward to next year.
John Maine, Ollie Perez: Gutsy, gutsy, gutsy. They may not have had Cy Young years, but the heart they showed during each and every start spare them any blame or criticism from Mets Nation.
Carlos Delgado: I was never big on the guy. When we got him I said I would have been perfectly fine keeping a young Mike Jacobs. And his aforementioned comment burns me up. Notably, Jacobs was on the winning side of that field yesterday. Delgado left the game with a broken hand.
The bench (Endy Chavez, Carlos Gomez, Marlon Anderson, Ruben Gotay, Ramon Castro): Many days towards the end I would've preferred some of you out there starting. Great job pinch hitting and Alou-subbing, guys.
Lastings Milledge: Gone. Bye. Just go. Omar, trade this immature punk who you've given more than enough chances to for a bullpen arm. We need that a lot more.
Tom Glavine: What a thief. He comes in to fill out a 300-win career in a major media market with a lot of money because Atlanta was done with him. We proceed to give him five years. Besides his 300th win, what highlights has he given us? He bombed in his first Mets start in 2003, and he bombed his last three. And while Mets fans were jumping off the Whitestone Bridge in droves, he says, "It's not devastating, but it's disappointing." GET OUT OF NEW YORK IF YOU THINK OUR FANS DON'T CARE. The next time I see him at Shea, it better in a Braves uniform during a 10-0 Mets' rout.
Bullpen: Wow. I hope some of you thought to ask Tom Glavine for a ride out of Shea permanently. You stay, Joe Smith - Rick Peterson burned you out. Actually, give Heilman a chance in the rotation. And Wagner, I hope your back spasms turn into mouth spasms so you save 35 games next year without saying a damn word.
Jose Reyes: I saved my remaining disappointment for you. (Wow, notice how I've slipped into the second-person as I've gotten more upset). You wanna be a top-line shortstop? I think you have what it takes. I wouldn't put it past you to eclipse Derek Jeter as the greatest New York shortstop by the time you enter the Hall. But Derek's got something you haven't developed yet: maturity. Man has four rings. He deserves to show a little flair. Once you broke the franchise stolen bases record, you became Mo Vaughn. Not running out ground balls? Swinging at the first pitch and popping out all the time? DANCING with Lastings Milledge after you're already up 10-0? You were a huge part of the reason why the rest of the National League hated your team this year, buddy. Hanley Ramirez would've come out in a wheelchair yesterday to see you lose. I don't know if Rickey Henderson gave you this uncalled for arrogance. If he did, listening to him is a mistake and I don't think you have to worry about him as one of your coaches next year anyway. Wake up, kid. Grow up and be who we all thought you would be and who you've shown you're capable of being.
As for Omar and Willie, they have to be back next year. I remember dancing in my room the night in Winter 2004 when I heard on WFAN that Omar Minaya would be named GM. Firing Omar and Willie would send us back to the Jim Duquette/Art (Whowhatwhenwherewhy)Howe era. No one wants to remember that.
Omar: Pull off some crazy stuff like you did in 2005 and 2006. Figure out a way to trade Aaron Sele for Todd Lincecum. Get us a bullpen, and don't give up Wright, Reyes, or Beltran in the process. I assure you, people will piss on your house if you do.
Willie: Man, I can't fault you for not charging an ump Billy Martin style. I know you're Cool Hand Willie and the bite in your words are conveyed to your players in private and not in media tirades. That's how it should be. I don't want antics, I want wins. But you gotta lay into Reyes more. Don't let Omar make your decisions for you, either. Be your own man in your clubhouse and dugout. As mad as we are and as irrational as many are being in calling for your head, Mets fans would love to see you on a World Series parade float. Bottom line is, we love you. Now show us some love back.
Garykeithandron: According to the Sports Pope, the Mets booth is the greatest in baseball. I knew that long before he had that revelation today. Keith Hernandez would be the only man I'd replace Willie Randolph with in a heartbeat. However, he's said that he loves going to the stadium every day, in a suit and not a uniform. Whether it was a seventeen inning nailbiter or a 7-0 pounding by a west coast team at 1am, these three made SNY must-see TV. These three make a strong case for team MVP.
Wait till next year, right?
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