Sometimes, I wish I could lay this blog out like the Drudge Report. That would lead me to post a lot more. At 2pm on a typical day, you might see something like:
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Thursday, July 10, 2008
But He Just May Be the Lunatic You're Looking For
Dear Christie Brinkley,
Now that your divorce from that dolt who didn't deserve your beauty and grace is final, give the people what we want and go back to your one true love: Billy Joel. What kind of "steam" were you blowing off with him over 4th of July anyway? The Piano Man deserves your loving back in his life, and no one likes his ditz of a new wife anyway. Methinks that if you're lonely for a man, he'll still say, "Take me as I am."
Now that your divorce from that dolt who didn't deserve your beauty and grace is final, give the people what we want and go back to your one true love: Billy Joel. What kind of "steam" were you blowing off with him over 4th of July anyway? The Piano Man deserves your loving back in his life, and no one likes his ditz of a new wife anyway. Methinks that if you're lonely for a man, he'll still say, "Take me as I am."
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Odds N Ends
So I have a brilliant idea that would pass muster with the vast majority of Americans. However, this means nothing because McCain Inc. and Obama-Mart (since these campaigns are essentially corporations) as well as pundits like those whose names begin with the letter "C" and end in "hris Matthews" would resoundingly reject my idea as though I were to ask them for the skin off their faces.
Simple as this: Obama versus McCain. Not David Axelrod versus Rick Davis. Not Wesley Clark versus Joe Lieberman. One of these men will be President. The next gasoline price milestone or the first global terror threat under a new administration will not send Americans demanding answers from these bloviators and cheerleaders. The American people need to know the guy in charge, not the guys and gals who know the guys that want to be in charge. FIRE THE REST OF THE BUMS.
From an objective standpoint, as someone who admires both candidates, they are both miles apart on policy, but were nominated by their parties for the same flippin' reason. Barack Obama and John McCain were each the most independent thinking, off-the-cuff, likable people from each of their respective parties. While I admire Hillary Clinton and while I think Mitt Romney is probably Senator McCain's best veep option, could you imagine a general election between these two focus-grouped, moldable, say-anything-to-win loonies? They would end up running so far and so fast to the center, because that's what you're supposed to do between June and November, that they'd probably cross paths and you'd hear Romney calling for the repeal of the Bush tax cuts and Clinton demanding an amendment to ban gay marriage.
Free-thinking Democrats and free-thinking Republicans produced the presumptive nominees, and now these voters are being betrayed. Stick a flag pin on Barack, even though he'll look like a sell-out to our base! Tell McCain to stop calling reporters jerks, no matter how affectionately he means it! The only way to let these candidates be who they are, how to act in the way they got to the big stage, is to get rid of all their handlers. So what if Obama's personality doesn't appeal to the Rust Belt Reagan Democrats? So what if McCain makes jokes about attacking other countries to the tune of Beach Boys songs? Fire their whole campaign staffs, save a few in charge of scheduling and travel. Get rid of campaign commercials - all they are is noise to those who don't care and regurgitation to those who already know what's going on. Let them spend money only on essentials and traveling the country to meet voters. Rather than obliquely responding to a campaign's surrogate, the only people who may speak for John McCain and Barack Obama are, yes, John McCain and Barack Obama. You might not get the same volume of minutiae on the cable shows (but, but, but, I wanna hear Lindsay Graham responding to Evan Bayh responding to Joe Lieberman responding to Wes Clark!), but you'll get an intelligent, sane campaign with people knowing about the issues more than they know about the Obama campaign's faux-presidential seal.
My Metsies made it five in a row tonight. I find it interesting and slightly puzzling that the weekend series against the Rockies, usually a pedestrian outing against a team in some other division, is picked up regionally by Fox on Saturday and nationally by ESPN on Sunday.
Brother Jesse: Don't sugar coat it, tell us how you really feel about your candidate. All of us in Hymietown really want to know.
Simple as this: Obama versus McCain. Not David Axelrod versus Rick Davis. Not Wesley Clark versus Joe Lieberman. One of these men will be President. The next gasoline price milestone or the first global terror threat under a new administration will not send Americans demanding answers from these bloviators and cheerleaders. The American people need to know the guy in charge, not the guys and gals who know the guys that want to be in charge. FIRE THE REST OF THE BUMS.
From an objective standpoint, as someone who admires both candidates, they are both miles apart on policy, but were nominated by their parties for the same flippin' reason. Barack Obama and John McCain were each the most independent thinking, off-the-cuff, likable people from each of their respective parties. While I admire Hillary Clinton and while I think Mitt Romney is probably Senator McCain's best veep option, could you imagine a general election between these two focus-grouped, moldable, say-anything-to-win loonies? They would end up running so far and so fast to the center, because that's what you're supposed to do between June and November, that they'd probably cross paths and you'd hear Romney calling for the repeal of the Bush tax cuts and Clinton demanding an amendment to ban gay marriage.
Free-thinking Democrats and free-thinking Republicans produced the presumptive nominees, and now these voters are being betrayed. Stick a flag pin on Barack, even though he'll look like a sell-out to our base! Tell McCain to stop calling reporters jerks, no matter how affectionately he means it! The only way to let these candidates be who they are, how to act in the way they got to the big stage, is to get rid of all their handlers. So what if Obama's personality doesn't appeal to the Rust Belt Reagan Democrats? So what if McCain makes jokes about attacking other countries to the tune of Beach Boys songs? Fire their whole campaign staffs, save a few in charge of scheduling and travel. Get rid of campaign commercials - all they are is noise to those who don't care and regurgitation to those who already know what's going on. Let them spend money only on essentials and traveling the country to meet voters. Rather than obliquely responding to a campaign's surrogate, the only people who may speak for John McCain and Barack Obama are, yes, John McCain and Barack Obama. You might not get the same volume of minutiae on the cable shows (but, but, but, I wanna hear Lindsay Graham responding to Evan Bayh responding to Joe Lieberman responding to Wes Clark!), but you'll get an intelligent, sane campaign with people knowing about the issues more than they know about the Obama campaign's faux-presidential seal.
My Metsies made it five in a row tonight. I find it interesting and slightly puzzling that the weekend series against the Rockies, usually a pedestrian outing against a team in some other division, is picked up regionally by Fox on Saturday and nationally by ESPN on Sunday.
Brother Jesse: Don't sugar coat it, tell us how you really feel about your candidate. All of us in Hymietown really want to know.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
And Stay Out
For those of you select few mouthbreeding morons who followed through on your promise to leave this great country in 2004 and are now threatening to return if Senator Obama is elected, just do the rest of us a favor and stay put.
This land doesn't need fair-weather citizens. Fair enough if you were one of the tens of millions of people that were outraged by the occurrence of Double Dubya, but that doesn't nearly constitute grounds for betraying your country. Your move was the maturity equivalent of storming out on your parents after years of love and care because they fell on hard times for a little while. How do you think they would feel if you returned once times were good again? Stay in Canada, England or Zimbabwe.
You see, one of the countless great things we have in this country is the frequent election. Although Bush was given a second chance, it quickly drowned in the floods of Katrina, got buried in the fallout from Harriet Miers and was bombed by the failings of the war in Iraq. Enter the midterm elections of November 2006, and the American people rightfully took the Congress away from him. He hasn't gotten what he's wanted as often since. See? If you waited two years, you would have watched a lame duck fall further into irrelevance right before your very eyes. Bottom line: You woulda lived.
I mentioned Zimbabwe earlier in this post with sarcasm. However, their sad truth of running an opposition candidate who the populace clearly wanted, then threatening voters to vote for Mugabe or die is something we have never seen in this country. THOSE could be considered grounds for abandoning ship.
This land doesn't need fair-weather citizens. Fair enough if you were one of the tens of millions of people that were outraged by the occurrence of Double Dubya, but that doesn't nearly constitute grounds for betraying your country. Your move was the maturity equivalent of storming out on your parents after years of love and care because they fell on hard times for a little while. How do you think they would feel if you returned once times were good again? Stay in Canada, England or Zimbabwe.
You see, one of the countless great things we have in this country is the frequent election. Although Bush was given a second chance, it quickly drowned in the floods of Katrina, got buried in the fallout from Harriet Miers and was bombed by the failings of the war in Iraq. Enter the midterm elections of November 2006, and the American people rightfully took the Congress away from him. He hasn't gotten what he's wanted as often since. See? If you waited two years, you would have watched a lame duck fall further into irrelevance right before your very eyes. Bottom line: You woulda lived.
I mentioned Zimbabwe earlier in this post with sarcasm. However, their sad truth of running an opposition candidate who the populace clearly wanted, then threatening voters to vote for Mugabe or die is something we have never seen in this country. THOSE could be considered grounds for abandoning ship.
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